Why does your business partner's wife or girlfriend attack your new relationship?

Her kids come first! You have to get used to it! And this will most likely never change!

Why? Because her kids are hers for life!

A partner or lover could come and go but kids stay!!!

So, if you see her giving her children more time or attention than she gives to you, relax and let her see that you are 100% cool with that.

Don't fight it! It's a lost cause!

She is biologically programmed to take care of her kids first.

Don't ever be jealous or upset about that one ok?

That's a big risk and I see partners doing that a lot.

They tend to start fights over parenting issues.

They want to influence their partner's behavior and the way they treat their kids!!

BIG NO NO!

It doesn't work!!!

Why? Because she is in charge of that.

Instead of criticizing or challenging her when you see something she could do differently, give her positive feed back when you see stuff she does right:

"Hey! I really liked the way you talked to your son yesterday! Spot on"

"You have such a refreshing connection with them... Nice to watch"

Etc.

Do that a lot!

It's super validating and energizing when your partner recognizes your parenting skills.

These kids are not yours, they are hers…

And it will stay that way forever.

What does that mean?

That their biological dad stays their dad.

You have less power than the biological parents in the equation.

And it's essential you don't try to fight that because it's a lost cause.

You have no legal power and if sensitive decisions need to be taken concerning these kids, you might be consulted but you will notice that you are NOT the one making the decisions here.

You're dating a community not just a person

What does that mean?

It means that whatever happens between you and your lover will eventually get out and be known by your social circle.

Sometimes, it filters out through real communication.

Most of the times it is more subtle.

It is communicated through silent transmission.

People know! They feel it!

I already talked in the past about being needy or clingy.

You know that this turns women off.

Now, there is a purely sexual expression of that neediness.

It is when your sexual needs or desires are much higher than the ones from your partner or date.

You want sex all the time, she wants it much less or not at all.

You can imagine how this makes her feel, right?

Often, it's your neediness that will trigger a lack of sexual desire on her side.

For instance she might feel desire for you in the beginning when you start dating and 3 months down the line, her desire seems to be gone while yours has expanded.

You end up being like on 2 different sexual planets.

This can really ruin your relationship and confidence.

You must understand that when you are sexually needy, she sees someone who is enslaved by his sexual desires and emotions.

What she sees is not male.

What she sees is often childish and out of control.

To her your appear totally disempowered.

It is this emotional state that can totally turn her off.

This sexual neediness can manifest itself in so many ways. For instance:

• She wants to chat and you just want to take her.
• She initiates sex and you systematically take over without giving her space to lead.
• You overdo a given sexual behavior like for instance oral sex when she would like to feel you inside of her.
• You ejaculate too fast while she's just getting warmed up.
• You engage in rough sex when all she wants is more romance and kindness
• Etc.

If being yourself means being insecure and showing too much weakness, I am sorry to say that it won't work!

She won't be attracted to you if you are a weak and vulnerable guy!

Confidence and power is a skill you practice!

If you are not born with it and feel that it's lots of work to express these qualities, remember that there is no way around it.

Sexual attraction is like an emotional recipe.

Certain behaviors trigger it!

Some others destroy it!