Thursday, June 04, 2009

Under pressure because your ex wants to be friends? - ARTICLE

Yes, often your ex doesn't want to fully lose you.

She wants to turn you into a supportive friend on who she can rely.

Most of the times, she does that because she still cares about this connection and doesn't like the idea of you not being in her life at all.

Do you have to respond to her needs?

Of course not!

You can dissolve a potential freindship by not returning her calls or emails or simply telling her openly that you are no longer there for her.

It is your right!

You owe her nothing!

When she puts you into the friend zone, it can be prety painful to see her date new guys.

You don't have to witness that.

Do whatever it takes to put as much distance between you and her as you want.

The relationship is over! You owe her nothing, ok?

Now...

What if you have children, work together or are still sorting out details of a business or assets you have together?

In that case, stick to being diplomatic and respectful.

Yes! If you need to interact with her for whatever reason, cultivate a connection which is based on those qualities.

You realize though that ACTIVELY building a friendship is a totally different story, right?

When you are good friends, you hang out together, you support each other, you invite her to parties, you introduice her to your newtork, etc.

Going that way is ALWAYS an option IF you enjoy it too and you both want it.

Yes, it is possible to turn a past romantic relationship into a solid friendship.

In my experience with coaching men in breakup transitions, having a very active friendship with an ex doesn't happen often.

In most cases, simple, respectful and occasional interactions with an ex will be a much better option and give you more space to rebuild a love life without her.