Thursday, June 30, 2011

She brings your kids late or systematically shifts arrangements - ARTICLE

That’s one tactic so many exes use!

They drive you emotionally up the wall by shifting appointments, not showing up on time, cancelling last minute or asking for special favours.

Especially in divorce situations and especially if you have kids together, these can be super challenging waters to navigate.

Here is a way to handle this.

Always be prepared for worst case scenarios.

If they say they would be here at 5 pm, what will happen if they show up at 10 pm?

You need space, flexibility and alternatives.

You need to lower your expectations and assume they will do anything they can to piss you off.

If you lose your balance, they win.

It is REALLY that simple.

It’s like being on the emotional fighting ring.

There is no reason and logic in what goes on.

There is no desire to be agreeable or kind.

Often, there is only one target in your ex’s mind:

The urgent need to get back at you!

They want to take revenge and hurt you?

Why?

Maybe because you cheated years ago.

Or because the relationship with you became boring.

Or because you are dating their best friend.

You see, you can find dozens of possible reasons why your ex might want to challenge you.

Sometimes, they feel ignored and they want to be noticed again!

They want to seduce you or get your attention!

Complicating things is often their best shot at achieving that.

These are possible scenarios and you have many, many more of course!

The point is “What will you do about it?”

Will you let your ex hit you over and over again with the same emotional weapon?

Or will you develop new emotional resilience abilities and stay cool at all times?