Thursday, June 30, 2011

She wants to be friends - Should I tell her about the new women I date? - TIP

For the time being you can set up new boundaries between the two of you.

Maybe she DOESN'T want to hear about your love life. You don't know yet. You have to find out

You might be looking for her validation and encouragement because you believe that's what a good friend should do.

Now, it's very much possible that when you share the feelings you experience for someone else, she might not like it.

The best way to find out is to share some light flirting anecdotes and see how she responds.

That's a good way to test the waters.

You can say for instance.

"I love this spring feeling. All these women looking so sexy! - I was in town having a beer with my friend and this girl at the table next to us was definitely checking me out - She was cute, we chatted a bit. She just moved into town..."

While you share something along that line, observe your ex's emotional response. Is she enjoying hearing your story or does she resent you sharing that?

It's essential to know.

If she resents it, it means you should not share your love life with her unless she asks you.

This means that if you support her love life (listening like a good friend) but she doesn't support yours, it can create a strong imbalance in the friendship and you end up frustrated.

We can check what to do once you know more about her response. That will be for another tip.

If she likes it, gets excited, asks you follow up questions, it means that you can establish now a new level of complicity right there.

Try sharing your love life the way I described above and see how she responds.

Just talk about you dating or flirting in general

How does she respond when she envisions you with other women?

Does she like it or not?

Test it! You will quickly get an answer!