Thursday, June 30, 2011

Your ex, why does she try so hard to make you jealous? - ARTICLE


Again, it’s a revengeful attitude.

They want to hurt you by confronting you.

Seeing your ex in the arms of their new love is usually NOT a nice experience.

Guess what? THEY KNOW THAT!

A simple way to avoid this is to stay away from each other, especially socially.

If that’s not option, you can of course be cool with it.

I know… Challenging!

Realize that none of what they do can touch or hurt you!

Really!

What feels weird is the fact that you still feel attachment for your ex.

There is still this inner urge to control what they do.

Why? Because your connection with that person is not fully dissolved.

You might think: “I should not be feeling that way”.

If you do, though, here is why?

It is because you have been conditioned to love that person for months or years.

Your mind is still attached to the romantic visions of you and your ex together.

Even if rationally you want to kick these images out, your neural network still has many emotional associations with them.

This is why, letting go of an ex doesn’t usually happen instantly.

It’s because of years or months of conditioning.

So, if you want to retrain your neural network and build new emotional associations connected with them, you can consciously confront yourself with real situations that will challenge you.

For instance you can imagine your ex having sex with someone else.

If you do that a few times, you will notice that the emotional pain you feel quickly turns into discomfort until you feel eventually nothing.

Nothing? Am I kidding you!!!???

Not at all!

You train yourself to feel nothing.

Look! These emotions are happening in you, right?

Who do you feel has the greatest control over these emotions?

It’s you!

Emotions survive in you because you allow them to!

It’s like having a dog barking in your back yard!

It hurts your ears!

You want to tame that dog!

You want to tame your emotions!

Is it that easy?

Of course not!

This is one of the number one challenge people fight with!

Gaining back a sense of mastery over their feelings and emotions.

I can tell you though that this could be YOUR moment!

This could be the most important skill you will develop from this break up!

It is the fact that you are the master of your emotions and once you decide to be cool with something, you can do it!

Seriously, look at the alternatives…

Do you imagine walking to your ex and begging them to stop humiliating you in public?

Yeah, right!!! Start a scene at this party?

You know this is a REALLY BAD idea.

So, no confrontation!

Instead tame yourself or leave!

These are the only possible ways to go.